Sunday, May 21, 2017

When I was Evil

Once, when I was evil,
I said evil things and laughed as I said the evil
I found the evil both humorous and empowering
to laugh at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I was unaware of the power of words
worse than sticks, worse than stones
those wounds heal
but not the wounds of words
I was evil and now I weep

Once, when I was evil,
I saw evil things and laughed as I watched the evil
I found the evil both seductive and entertaining
to laugh at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I was unaware of the power of images
worse than slings, worse than arrows
those wounds heal
but not the wounds of images
I was evil and now I weep

Once, when I was evil,
I heard evil things and laughed as I heard the evil
I found the evil both reasonable and equitable
to laugh at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I was unaware of the power of sound
worse than bullets, worse than bombs
those wounds heal
but not the wounds of sounds
I was evil and now I weep

Once, when I was evil,
I did evil things and laughed as I did the evil
I found the evil both divisive and exciting
to laugh at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I was unaware of the power of actions
worse than knives, worse than swords
those wounds heal
but not the wounds of actions
I was evil and now I weep

Once, when I was evil,
I condoned evil things and laughed as I condoned the evil
I found the evil both attractive and effusive
to laugh at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I was unaware of the power of condoning
worse than acid, worse than salt
those wounds heal
but not the wounds of condonation
I was evil and now I weep

Once, though I was evil,
I rejected evil things and cried as I rejected the evil
I found the evil both debilitating and elusive
to have laughed at the weak and differing
I was evil and now I weep
it is not as if I am unaware of the power of evil
worse than lies, worse than deceit 
those wound still open
as are the wounds of the past
I am still evil and still I weep


jeg. 7/15

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